2012年1月28日星期六

给怪兽开凿一个窍

貔貅:龙头,马身,麟脚,像狮子。
龙年全世界都在说龙,因为龙的传人如今抖了起来。除了龙,我们崇拜的怪兽还有几种,这里只说一种叫做貔貅(读音皮休)的,很少人谈到它。

貔貅两个字,字形狰狞,模样也狰狞,是可怕的猛兽,乍看之下,还有点像狮子。它虽然凶猛威武,幸亏它与邪恶势力站在对立面,成了正派灵物,人们认为它可以辟邪,护身,镇宅,招财进宝。

招财进宝当然是最重要的了,那还用说。

我们虽然是龙的传人,但是龙先生平时吃什么食物?谁也不理会,但貔貅的食物却很受我们关注。它不吃草,不吃肉,它的食物很特别,叫做“财”,吃四方之财。也有一说,是吸食魔怪的血而化为财。

除了食物很特别,它在生理上还有更奇异之处,就是七窍少了一窍,换句话说,就是有口没有肛门,只吃不拉。不论吃了多少都不会满溢。

人们提醒别人不要做坏事以免生个孩子没屁股,证明没屁股是很糟糕的事,然而貔貅最忌的,却是生个孩子有屁股,有屁股是大灾难。

 我看到网上有人问万能博士说,他佩挂的貔貅屁股有个洞,不知该怎么办,显得很不安。他说的那个洞,只是普通的洞,不是屁眼,居然紧张成那个样子,可见对貔貅来说,保持屁股没有洞是第一要务。

但是这个世界偏偏有人不信邪,偏要给貔貅补开一个窍,就是要给 它挖个屁股洞,医生说,是人造肛。

消息是从电视上一个访谈节目知道的。受访者是中国一位成功的企业家,大名叫曹德旺。在青海玉树大地震的赈灾筹款会上,他一出手就是一个亿,扬名神州。

他说,只吃不拉,迟早要胀死。他的貔貅雕像,就是故意挖个屁股。

他是世界级的企业家,肚子里已经有了数不尽的财,所以他也要追随比尔盖兹、巴菲特等人的脚步,将来把大部分家产捐做公益,取诸社会用诸社会,放弃貔貅哲学。

我觉得他给貔貅开凿个窍,真是开天辟地以来的惊天一凿!从前有个大神名叫混沌,没有七窍,他的朋友好心为它开凿,七窍完成,混沌就死了。给貔貅开窍,一旦泄了财气,即使它不死,它的主人也会心痛死,

世间貔貅太多了。看到吗?不是摆在商业大厦前那两个像狮子的东西,它不是石刻,不是铜铸,不是玉雕,而是与我们一样,会吃饭会拉屎。但他们是貔貅类,过的很快活。

最近政坛有小搞作,要做官的公布财产,就是要看看他有没有吃四方之财而变成政治貔貅。有的官爷倒真的公布了,更多官爷却不肯,都遵守财不可露眼的祖训,因此公布财产只是小打小闹,徒增咖啡店论客谈资。

本人非仁厚之辈,不大相信有人会一五一十坦诚公布的财产,更何况即使公布了,觉得其中很有蹊跷,那又怎么样? 谁能给政治貔貅们的屁股开个洞?

3 条评论:

guilotine 说...

请教前辈,商业大厦前两头像狮子般的东西是啥东东?

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